With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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