Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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