i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize