i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
