i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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