She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
