How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
