we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
