If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
