i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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