Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
