is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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