No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
