Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
