11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
