Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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