Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize