So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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