I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
