SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
They took my balls.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
