Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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