i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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