Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
