Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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