I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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