I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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