if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
