I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
