So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
