Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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