Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize