Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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