She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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