whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
