Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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