I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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