I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
