Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
