I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
