We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize