I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
