If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
