I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize