haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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