We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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