On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
