how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
