i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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