I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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