Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
