i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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