She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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