as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
