he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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