There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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