Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
