Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
