She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
