I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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