I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
