it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
