I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
