at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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