you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
